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Positive Motivation Part 2: Goals

(Following on from Positive Motivation Part 1)

It is fair to say that to achieve anything in life that is difficult, a strong personal motivation is required. In part, motivation can be characterised as an ability to overcome obsticles and to achieve goals. However, the latin root of the word motivation simply means to move. So motivation means action.

In the previous post on motivation, I looked at how people can move towards an experience (achievement, satisfaction, etc) but often move away from an experience (stress, anxiety, failure). From that post, it should appear obvious that it is better to try and move towards an experience, the achievement of a goal. However, in order to do that, you need to know just what it is you’re trying to achieve, why you’re trying to achieve it, and how you’re going to get there.

Setting Your Goals
Firstly, be specific. Rather than “I want a better job” or “I want to study” (or “I want a cleaner house” or “I want to lose weight” etc, etc!) state precisely which better job you want, or what subject you want to study, and to what level (“I want a kitchen that is cleaned once per day, a bathroom that is cleaned once per week, etc”; “I want to be a slim and healthy 8 stone“…)

Interestingly, it is best to set positive goals rather than negative goals. By this I mean it is better to state “I want to achieve a healthy and slim body that weights 8 stone” rather than “I want to lose 3 stone”. Consider that when setting your goals.

Secondly, ask yourself why this goal? Achieving worthwhile goals requires effort. There will be obstacles to overcome, a routine to build. So – what benefits will you receive through achieving your goal? Where your goal sits well with your values, your beliefs, and your identity, it will be easier to achieve. The less congruent you are with your goal, the more you’ll have to adapt as a person to achieve it.

For example, if you decide you want to study for a change in career. What benefit will you gain through that change? More money? More status? Are those things important to you? Is it that you are only considering moving from a job you actually like, because you feel that your friends are ‘ahead’ of you in the career ‘arms race’? Consider what you really want. Think about the things you enjoyed doing as a child, as a teenager. Think about your values, your beliefs (about yourself, the world, about what is important in other aspects of life).

If you’re looking to lose weight because you were bullied as an overweight child, and you’re actually quite happy being a curvy, then is the goal of slimming down really you? Consider the actual benefits of achieving your goal…

Planning Your Goals
Once you have stated your goal, you need to set a time limit on achieving that goal. The time limit introduces the element of the ticking clock, which will help define a timetable of action to achieve your goal. So, knowing what you want, and when you want it by, allows you to set practical tasks each day or week in order to achieve the sub-goals that will add up to achieving your main goal.

For example, if your goal is to achieve a slim and healthy body, weighting 8 stone, in time for your holiday in the first week in June, then you can work out how much exercise you will need to do each day, plus for how many days you’ll need to adjust your eating habits (weekly or daily sub-goals), in order to achieve that target weight. The point here is to determine a start point, an end point, and a timetable of regular action in between the two.

Your Routine
It is important that your routine allows you to achieve your sub-goals. Assume will power doesn’t exist; the more frequently you have to force yourself to act on your sub goals, the more likely it is that you will fail. Instead, take decision making out of the equation by developing a routine that you complete each day or week, that turn the regular action required to achieve sub-goals into habits.

It is thought that it only takes 30 days to build up a new habit, and 90 days for that habit to become deeply ingrained. Therefore, it is the first month that is the ‘danger period’. During this time, you need to give yourself the best fighting chance of building up those habitual routines that will vastly improve your chances of success.

Ensure that you pre-plan as much as possible. So if your goal is to lose weight, stock up the fridge with good, healthy food rather than needing to go out of your way to buy healthy food each day. If your goal is to get a better job, pre-order the jobs papers from your newsagents for delivery, so they spur you into action on arrival.

Go public with your goals. A fear of failure is a powerful motivator, but only if other people know that you have failed. Tell other people about your goals, and your sub-goals; particularly those close to you. Turn to them for support and encouragement. It is important that those close to you are behind you.

Similarly, find a role model who’s brain you can pick and arrange a regular meeting or phone call with that person. Use the Internet to find message boards and email lists for communities based around your goal; state your intentions here and build up enthusiasm and motivation. For that first month, this is a key step.

Tracking Your Goals
In the words of Dr Raj Persaud, from his excellent book “The Motivated Mind” he states:

“Tracking progress is an essential step to goal attainment because it helps you know how to adjust performance in order to attain your target. Tracking is unpopular as a motivational strategy because it often involves receiving unpleasant feedback about how badly you are doing. If however you don’t track and don’t get this feedback, you can’t adjust your strategy and performance in order to raise your game and get what you want.”

I definitely agree with Dr. Pasaud here. Use a diary, or better yet a calendar (make your goals public, see above) and literally each day you can put a nice big tick, or a as feedback; a reflection of just how well you’ve managed to do that day. This has two benefits: 1) It stops ostritch mode as much as possible, and 2) it breaks your goals down into daily, bite-size chunks, rather than one indigestable mega-goal. From clinical experience, nothing leads to fear more than seeing the task ahead as being unsurmountable…

Feedback is invaluable. Tracking your goals means you receive clear feedback at each stage in your progress. Where I disagree with Dr. Pasaud is the comment about feedback relating to how badly you’re doing. NLP has this to say:

There is no failure, only feedback… Consider this passage on Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb (amongst many other things):

One tough piece was finding the right material for the filament–that little wire inside the light bulb. He filled more than 40,000 pages with notes before he finally had a bulb that withstood a 40 hour test in his laboratory. (10) In 1879, after testing more that 1600 materials for the right filament, including coconut fiber, fishing line, and even hairs from a friend’s beard, Edison and his workers finally figured out what to use for the filament–carbonized bamboo…

He refused to become discouraged or view anything as a “failure.” As he would say, “Every wrong attempt discarded is a step forward.”

Learn From Failure (Feedback)

The point being: learn from your feedback. There are bound to be setbacks, so keep going. Persist, and you will find the way forward. Successful people investigate what went wrong, and how it can be changed. The rest of us give up. There will be setbacks on the long road to eventual success.

Finally, as you get up and running. Be flexible. Understand that your plan will evolve as you evolve. Allow for evolution, but don’t let that become an excuse to be complacent. If you listen to any top athlete, they will always be focused on the next challenge, always be thinking of the next trophy…

To summarise then, the nature of goal setting is straight forward. Consider your starting point, specify in detail your ending point, and work out the steps you need to take in between. (Motivation = movement).

Then, devise a framework which needs to appear each day, or week, to accomodate those steps. Make the appearance of that framework, in a well-formed fashion, your sub-goal(s). Pre-plan as much as possible to make that framework as easy as possible to achieve.

After a while that framework will become habitual, but use regular feedback, support networks and a fear of public failure to get yourself up and running until then.

Use tracking to gain feedback on how well you’re doing, but remember to persist through difficulties – the difference between successfully achieving your goals, and failure, is one of persistence, overcoming obsticles…

And that’s everything for now. My final post in this series (I know, I know – you wait for ever and then three posts come along at once!) will be about the pitfalls a person can face with their goals, and what to do about them.

Warm regards,

Adrian

http://www.lastingchange.co.uk