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How to decide what to do…

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Positive Motivation Part 1: Procrastination

If you’ve ever procrastinated in life, you’ll know what a frustrating experience it can be. There are many ways to look at the theory of motivation and procrastination – it’s too great a scope for one post (hence the delay on getting this article published). However, there are certain key points that are worth bearing in mind…

As a hypnotherapist, I often work with a clients who are studying for exams. I recall one client from very early on in my practice. Aside from several assignments that required finishing, my client also had revision to complete in time for her final exams. Time was ticking away, and aware that she was leaving things to the last minute, she came to me for help.

After discussing the amount of work involved (she really was cutting it fine!) we discussed what happened when she tried to study:

“Well, I sit down, straighten out my books and start to get organised… Then, after around 10 minutes, I think ‘oh, a coffee would be nice!’ Then, after drinking my coffee, I’d perhaps just quickly check my email, before starting again. Or maybe I’d get this ‘heavy’ feeling, and go and watch the TV for a while. At some point I know I’ll be hungry, so I’ll probably go and eat something… After around four hours, I can honestly say I’ve looked at my books for about 15 minutes in total. Help!”

And this was in the days before Facebook!

I was interested to know: all of these things that are ostensibly relaxing, watching TV, eating, checking emails and browsing the ‘net; are you relaxed as you do them?

“No! At the back of my mind I’m thinking ‘God, I’ve really got to get some studying done tonight!’ As time goes on, I start to get this anxious feeling. I know that eventually it will get too much, and I’ll start. Then I’ll be really focused and get it done. But I also know that I won’t do half as well as I could, and I’m sick of not sleeping properly!“

And therein lies the problem. Most people motivate themselves through stress and worry. If you have a deadline by which something must be achieved (an essay for uni, a report for work, some DIY for the summer, even the washing up before bed-time), there are two ways of going about it:

Option 1. I will get that done now, and then I’ll be able to relax and enjoy the rest of the day/week/month/whatever.

Option 2. I’ve got plenty of time to get that done; I’ll put it out of my mind for now, and do it later…

So, logic would suggest that the first option is by far the best, even if it’s something you don’t want to do:

With option 1, you do it now; you might not enjoy it but you’ll feel good when it’s done. Then you can relax and enjoy other activities knowing that it’s no longer an issue.

Verses:

With option 2, you put it off. You know you won’t enjoy doing it, so do other things instead. However you become increasingly less relaxed as the deadline approaches, meaning you enjoy your time less and less. Eventually, the stress gets too much, and so you get it done (it’s still not enjoyable, but now you’re rushed and so enjoy it even less, whilst probably not doing as good a job).

If you compare the two options:

The second option means that the experience is more fraught

The time spent before the deadline is less relaxing and enjoyable

The overall results probably less impressive.

So that’s three powerful negatives… So the question is, why do we choose the second option!?

Well, that’s a big question, beyond the scope of this post. However, NLP has something to say about how we choose the second option. Often, the process goes something like this:

Step 1
A person thinks about doing the task. If there is a picture, it is usually gray and dim, and they see themselves looking unhappy. Often, time becomes forgotten and it is as if they’ll be stuck in that picture forever…

Step 2
As well as (or instead of a picture), they might say to themselves “I’ve really got to do that…” in a resigned, unhappy or even frustrated voice.

Step 3
As a result they feel really bad about doing the task. The behaviour that results from that feeling is one of “I’ll do it tomorrow…”

This process will invariably continue, until eventually the deadline looms. Then the process changes.

Step 1
The person thinks about doing the task, and a larger picture appears – one of the catastrophic results of not doing it (failing their exams, being sacked, their partner leaving them because of the mountainous pile of washing up that has accumulated)…

Step 2
They might then think to themselves “Okay, I’ve really got to get this done now, otherwise that will happen!”

Step 3
In response to this, a feeling of (ever increasing) anxiety is produced, until eventually, the person will spring into action in order to avoid catastrophe.

There is a more effective way… Try this instead:

Step 1
Firstly, consider what task you are struggling to do. Say to yourself, in the same tone of voice that you’d use if you were considering going dancing, or for a meal, or anything else that you like to do:

“It will be really nice when it’s done; I can relax then and put it out of my mind!”

Step 2
Then, make a bright picture* of doing what needs to be done. Adjust the picture so you look like you’re fine. If you’re studying, then looking focused, motivated, learning well. If you’re doing household chores, then seeing yourself doing it efficiently, even whistling while you work…

Step 3
Then, make a bright picture* of finishing what needs to be done. Putting down the pen and closing your books, drying the last dish, etc… And watch yourself looking really, really satisfied.

Step 4
Finally, step in to that picture as if it were happening, and feel how great you’ll feel when you’ve completed that job. With that feeling in mind, state to yourself in a clear and happy voice “I am becoming really motivated to study/wash up/write that report/etc.”

From there, you should feel really motivated, so make a start!

* (Some people just don’t see pictures clearly, no matter what the NLP books might tell you. Rather than worrying about this, imagine feeling focused, motivated, content etc as you think about doing what you need to be done; followed by feeling satisfied as you think about finishing off, knowing that it’s a task completed…)

Part 2 of this post will examine some of the reasons why the above might not work: goal setting & tracking, goal conflicts, fear of failure, and more…

That’s all for now – questions or comments please feel free to drop me a line.

Warm regards,

Adrian
http://www.lastingchange.co.uk